I have symptoms. But of what? Is that very early nausea or is there still doxycycline in my system? Are those weird twinges in my uterus or are they just my ovaries sucking back in the empty follicles?
Some things are different this time versus the last cycle, but it means nothing.
- Last cycle, I had Very Sore Tits. The kind you can mush every day to relish in the possibility that it Means Something (besides that you are getting stabbed lovingly by your husband with 50 mg/day of PIO i.m. every evening). This time, nothing.
- Last cycle, I felt fine the day after the retrieval and the bloat dissipated over the next two weeks. This time, I feel like a bushel of fruit is wedged into my belly (let's hope so, right?) even though the stimulation-induced bloat-weight has disappeared.
- Last cycle, the PIO shots were annoying but not too bad. This time, those mother effers hurt. Really hurt. This has led to my husband's great culinary-science fusion theory that the sesame oil supension hurts more than the olive oil emulsion because sesame oil has a higher smoke point. Genius. If we are successful, I hope the baby gets his brains.
I'm not really sure what I will do if this doesn't work out again this time. I'm trying very hard not to think about that, to instead pretend that I am pregnant until proven otherwise, but IVF and OCD are like peas in a pod so my efforts are semi-in vain. Would I try another cycle in a month? Would I take some time off? Would I stay with the same RE or move to the other local clinic (the MD there has been described to me as the "Cadillac of REs" which probably means he comes at a price)? The correct answer is, I hope, that I will be pregnant and none of this will matter. We'll see. One more week.