Friday, September 11, 2009

Girl, You Have No Faith in Medicine

This is the point in the cycle when my patience goes bust. I am halfway through stimming, and I just WANT TO BE DONE. Menopur and Follistim are kicking my ass, much to my RE's glee and delight. Mind you, the follicles aren't super-sized as a result - not yet - but there appear to be about a dozen of them, which is an improvement over last time. Repeat after me: quality, not quantity; quality, not quantity. Can't I have both? Can't my ovaries be teeming with massive numbers of high-quality, super-star eggs? Come on - go-go-gadget follicles!

I am rather enjoying my high-protein diet. Eggs, eggs, eggs, like some kind of freaky infertility cannibalism. The only caveat is that it contributes substantially to my all-day full feeling, which is ever-present thanks to the activity in my ladyparts. I'm pretty sure there's a lead brick in my gut. Or a breakfast sandwich. One of those.

I have also reached the inevitable point in the cycle where I start to wonder if this will work. I am not one of those girls who can say "I just know it will!" because I am not wired that way. My neural circuits are set to "cynical." The only thing that will convince me is a good fertilization report. I would love to see a bunch of eggs retrieved, but I know that can be a trick. It only matters how many fertilize. And then, how many of the embryos make it to day 3. And then, how many of them have the right number of cells, minimal to no fragmentation, and are starting to compact. If [BIG IF] we make it to a day 5 transfer, I will be elated. You will hear me singing from the rooftops. If. For now, I remain my usual skeptical self. Sing it, Jack:



'Murgdan' said...

Eggs for eggs...I hope that's how it works. I told myself that every day for over a week. Eggs of the edible sort or not, I kind of have a tiny bit of faith in I'll be hoping for you. (And from a fellow wired cynic, that's a lot).

Simple said...

Quality, not quantity. Quality, not quantity. We should compete in the Olympics with all the hurdles we have jump over! Stay strong - steroids are good in this scenario! :)

Pundelina said...

I like Murgdan's "eggs for eggs". I'm there with you ... tummy is heavy and full and I'm sure strangers think I'm pregnant already.

Slowly, slowly, we're getting there!!