Sunday, October 4, 2009


It's a two-pronged approach: eating and shopping. We went out for dinner Friday night (eve of impending Fail) and Saturday night (Fail Day v2.0). Tonight I am getting a home-cooked short ribs-and-pasta comfort food number that I am already drooling over. Today I bought a bunch of clothes I don't particularly need but want (do I need a 7th coat? It's Michigan, so sure). And I shopped for a couple of new small-scale home improvement projects (hello, foyer chandelier I have coveted and same to you, spiffy new handtowel ring). It helps, a little. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy shiny things to distract you.

Thanks for kind words and your own 4-letter contributions. Much appreciated. The Bad News Beta was a little easier to take this time, but doesn't leave me any less disappointed. I guess some people get knocked up with zero IVF cycles (lucky fuckers, literally), some people with only one cycle, and some with a second cycle or an FET. Then there are some who require many, many more. I think that's us. Fuckity-fuck.

And now, the engines turn toward IVF Attempt Number Three. Meh.


'Murgdan' said...

Buy as many shiny things as you have my permission. Also, eat whatever the hell you deserve whatever comfort you can get right now.

Fuckity fuck. Dammit.

Simple said...

I just saw your previous post & sorry just seems... insufficient. I hate that you have to go through another cycle, but hope it's your last. Any possibility you can transfer more than 1 - maybe increase your chances? It just sucks, plain & simple. I'm thinking of you!!! (HUGS)

BB said...

Noticed that you have set up a "new RE" consult in November. I am glad you are getting a second opinion! Hope that a talk with a new RE brings along some answers! {HUGS}

JB said...

Yes to New RE - am going to talk to Old RE and try to move up appointment with New RE (so we don't miss the next available cycle). I might give Old RE one more shot and line up New RE just in case. You know, like bringing an umbrella so it won't rain.

As for number of embryos transferred - we only had one each cycle. Cycle 1, only made 1 embryo that was a 4-cell with some fragmentation at day 3. Cycle 2, made two embryos but 1 of them arrested after 2 cell divisions while the other was a beautiful Grade A 8-cell on day 3. Poor stimulated egg quality/quantity combined with shitty sperm = bad news. The next cycle has to address both somehow. Anyhow.

hope4joy said...

I'm glad that you have been able to shop and eat. I am also in awe of the fact that you have the strength to go right into the next round. If this cycle ends the way I think it will I am for sure going to need a break. Good for you girl.

Simple said...

Thanks for answering my questions - I truly hope next time results in more embryos. Stupid infertility.

And thanks for the comment on my blog - you had a great idea b/c yes, he usually cooks. Whether he'll enjoy the food I prepare is entirely different story. ha ha.

Pundelina said...

Hey there 'us' of the needing more cycles. We'll do 'em together!

I am the proud owner of new fripperies too - after the failures a bit of retail therapy doesn't go astray. Also am the proud owner of a plooshy tum from eating my feelings away. Oh the joy!

Hope your second opinion guy is as useful as mine was, and I hope both of them manage to get us knocked up soon.