Monday, December 14, 2009

It's Called Quid Pro Quo, Bitch

Dear Friend With Child,

When you entered your kid in a Baby Gap photo contest and included me on your mass email about how stinking cute he is and would I be so kind as to create a spam-generating account to vote for him, even though I had just completed my second failed IVF cycle, as you know, I FUCKING DID IT. For you. You're welcome.

So now that I have entered my stinking cute dog into a Hallmark Christmas card photo contest, I am delighted that you are so amused by it and also have not lifted a finger to vote a single time. Understand, dear friend, I know a dog is not a baby. Let me repeat: I KNOW A DOG IS NOT A BABY. BUT I CAN'T HAVE A BABY SO THIS IS ALL I FUCKING HAVE. Peace.

Hugs and Kisses,
Your Barren Bitch Friend

P.S. Don't know why I'm shouting. Don't want to wake YOUR BABY.


Pundelina said...

I'll vote for your doggie. Just point the way!


PS what a cow.

JB said...

Alas, voting closes today. Just needed to vent.

(I am so subhuman because I do not have children, right? My life revolves around everyone else's since they can breed and I cannot, right? Shit.)

Okay, really truly done now. :)

bunny said...

Aww, that was really poignant and... funneh. Friend With Child sucks. I suppose it would be taking things too far to post side-by-side comparison photos and have us vote on who is cuter. So I'll just pretend you did and your dog won.

hope4joy said...

I would have glady voted for your pooch. I have been the "crazy dog lady" for years in my circle of
"FRIENDS". My dog gets Halloween costumes and spa visits and all that. You have to make due with what you got and right now a sweet little furball is all I got.


PS. We can leave our "babies" in cages when we go out and not have to pay a sitter OR go to jail. Suck on that fertile bitches!!!!!