Dear Friend With Child,
When you entered your kid in a Baby Gap photo contest and included me on your mass email about how stinking cute he is and would I be so kind as to create a spam-generating account to vote for him, even though I had just completed my second failed IVF cycle, as you know, I FUCKING DID IT. For you. You're welcome.
So now that I have entered my stinking cute dog into a Hallmark Christmas card photo contest, I am delighted that you are so amused by it and also have not lifted a finger to vote a single time. Understand, dear friend, I know a dog is not a baby. Let me repeat: I KNOW A DOG IS NOT A BABY. BUT I CAN'T HAVE A BABY SO THIS IS ALL I FUCKING HAVE. Peace.
Hugs and Kisses,
Your Barren Bitch Friend
P.S. Don't know why I'm shouting. Don't want to wake YOUR BABY.