Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Begrudgingly Optimistic

This morning, after 5 days of stims, we saw 6 uniformly fat follicles measuring 12-13 mm and 5-6 slackers around 10 mm or less. Not bad. That's more than we've seen at this same time on the two previous cycles. And for once, a decent number of follicles are growing at the same rate. Hallefuckinglujah. Yeehaw.

We have also learned that KB's progressive motility has doubled from 3 Mil/mL to 6 Mil/mL. That's still shy of normal (10 Mil/mL), but it's evidence of improvement on the spooge report card. Kruger morphology is now a whopping 1% normal, up from the only slightly more dismal 0% we've entertained for the past year and a half. Well, Clomid, you hath not wrought miracles, but you helped a metric microtad. Hopefully our fertilization next week (next week!) will benefit from my spiffier-looking eggs and KB's shiny new sperm.

I had some "me" time while waiting in the exam room, so I bring you photographic evidence of my visit:

What does this button on the sonogram machine do exactly? I mean, I covet a machine that can probe my vag and also pop a champagne cork, because that's obviously all kinds of awesome, but I'm not sure how the mini-saw fits in. Literally. Is that a magnifying glass or a beer bottle opener? Is my RE going to shiv me? I think this machine might be one tampon string and a Bic pen away from becoming a MacGyvered nuclear device.

In the battle against crotch rot and/or sonogram gel dribble...Prevail! I appreciate that it's now made with cotton, but it does leave me wondering what it used to be made with...burlap? cork? bamboo?

What bonus features make this a "Plus" glove model? Jazz hands?

Lastly, this is what we're working for...a photoshopped stock baby photo superimposed over an empty sono scan. Of my left ovary. No wonder I can't get knocked up. There isn't enough room in my left ovary to carry a full-term baby and a bottle. And an adult hand to hold the bottle. Goddamn, reproduction is hard.


bunny said...

Dear Lord, that was hilarious. But you should be breastfeeding that stock baby--it would save space. Though it might be anatomically problematic. I'm REALLY happy to hear that things are looking good gamete-wise. Funny how you can want something to work out so badly for a stranger! And to answer your question to me, I'm an experimental psychologist, so the NSF is my grant source.

hope4joy said...

Glad things are looking good in the stim dept. Damn, next week!!

I love the office pics. Thanks for keeping those above the knees.

Happy stimming.

Mrs. Hammer said...

I crossed my legs just thinking about the bottle opener, ouch!

Meg. said...

I'm not sure if I've ever commented on your blog.....but I'm officially de-lurking (word on the blog street is that January is De-Lurker Month).

Anyways, just wanted to tell you that I adore your blog. Your sense of humor is top-rate, and I'm rooting for you hardcore.

Congrats on the even follie growth! Looking forward to your next update. =)

Trinity said...

Hysterical. :) Hoping big hopes for you, your follies, and that shiny new sperm...

'Murgdan' said...

*snort* *snicker* maybe the utility button opens up a secret door for repairs...though I like the idea of popping a cork better.

Love it love it love it.

jenicini said...

Damn, that's what has been missing my Swiss Army Knife shoved up the va-jay-jay! Cracking up right now and I soooooo needed it!