Saturday, January 9, 2010

How Do I Loathe Thee, Let Me Count the Ways

Oh, dear bloggy friends, I do not mean you! I mean the asscows who stole my oxygen in the RE waiting room this morning. See:
  1. Annoyingly peppy bitch thumbing through a parenting magazine and holding it up to her husband, open to baby pictures -- "Oh, honey, look at *this* one! These pictures make me want to cry!" Gag. Okay, first-timer, let's see you on your third cycle with track marks lining your arms and belly, clutching your hyperstimulated pelvis in vain attempts to get comfortable sitting immobile in your chair, staring at an incomprehensibly chipper couple gurgling across from you at 6:30AM with nothing but REDRUM on your mind. Catch you then, sweetness. Good-day.
  2. Somebody-or-another's husband coughing up a mothereffing storm and sucking back phlegm every 5 seconds like he's going to succumb to consumption right there in the waiting room. Your wife is here for some bloodwork and an ultrasound, right? Stay the fuck home, Typhoid Mary. I think she can manage one day without you. And I swear on a stack of waiting room pamphlets, if you gave me something contagious just days before my retrieval and transfer, so help me, I will manhunt you and end your misery and mine. Please-and-thank-you.
  3. Chatty-Cathy McJabberJaw repeating everything the morning news anchor says and cackling over it loudly with nonsequitor commentary. Let's break this down: A) You're annoying and your comments are unoriginal and trite to say the least; B) GOOD FOR YOU that you're a morning person, but I am not and as long as you grate on my last nerve you take your life in your own hands; C) just shut up already, for the love of all that's good and holy. Crikey.
The waiting room was a cattle call today. After I mentally murdered all of the annoying people, complete with contemplation of how much jail time was worth it and also whether my iPhone might have an app for shanking, a perfectly lovely woman came in and sat next to me. Now, I usually emit enough of a piss-off vibe at the RE office that no one dare sit next to me, but this was literally the last seat available in the waiting room. I decided in that moment that I would [gasp] start a friendly conversation with a fellow infertile in the RE office. Who me? Turns out she is delightful, but before I could even get her name (unrequited lurve bonded by shared infertility!) the nurse called me back for my ultrasound. In my mind, if it was meant to be we will meet on the observation deck of the Empire State Building in 10 months -- although I may have forgotten to tell her about the plan to run away together before I was whisked into my usual room. (No placard has been erected yet. I keep waiting.)

It seemed like almost every woman it the waiting room had her husband with her, and all I witnessed them doing was shuffling behind their women to the lab for the customary blood-letting, then shuffling behind them to the exam room for an ultrasound. Why? I asked KB to come with me to 1) the initial consult, 2) the retrievals (and only because I can't drive home, although I bet I could, and because the embryologist needs his seed), and 3) the transfers (mostly for decision-making purposes, but I suppose also for moral support, 'cause he's cool like that and right handy in a crisis).

So, ladies of the internets, riddle me this: does/did your husband accompany you to RE appointments? Willingly, or because you told him to? For why? I'm quite curious.

[Don't know where my violent tendencies come from this morning -- not enough sleep, pelvic distention, too much going on in my head, maybe...but never fear, bloggy friends, I would never nip at you!]


bunny said...

Oooo, at my last IUI there was this horrible couple in the waiting room! The man was listening to belly dancing music really loud on his laptop (weird! annoying! weird!) while the woman desperately tried to chat up all the other people, and then made comments to her husband about what they were there for that were clearly designed for the rest of us. (I sympathize with her desire not to be coy about what we were all doing there, and perhaps to make contact with someone who could share her pain [I've always dreamed of making a friend in the waiting room, like the woman you describe!] but I didn't want to be her buddy!) She also went with her husband when he did his sample production. I know that's a thing some couples like to do, but...not me.
My husband comes to consults willingly and sat in the waiting room during the first IUI, but thereafter he goes in for his bit and I go in for mine--like ships passing in the night. I think if we go to IVF I'll want him actually in the room for the transfer. He seems willing to be there for anything I want him there for. Also, my word verification for this comment is "hodipreg". I don't know what the hodi is about, but the preg is clearly for you.

Trinity said...

Morning, Jen. You totally crack me up. :)

We're still rookies at the RE game, but for the most part my husband has accompanied me to all of the appointments, even CD3 b/w and u/s, though he stays in the waiting room for the fun stuff. He has provided his samples on his own, too. 3 cycles in our routine might change. Who knows? The main RE office is a long-ish drive from home, so the company for the drive and the waiting room is always a welcome thing. We do not gush over parenting magazines, however, nor provide commentary on the morning news whilst in the waiting room. ;)

Last week we went to the satellite RE office closest to our hometown, and as this other couple was leaving we heard them say to the receptionist that they were from our hometown, which is small. We both looked at each other with a little excitement, "Oooooh somebody else from Armpitburg!" As much as I wanted to say hello to them and maybe even exchange tips on where NOT to get your lab work done, I could barely make eye contact with them. I don't know...maybe they didn't want to be outed? Maybe I didn't? TOTAL ROOKIE.

Anyway, I hope the appointment went well, aside from the waiting room shenanigans. ;)

ASP said...

Hilarious! I'm the same way- I like going to my appointments by myself. I really don't see any point in Ryan going unless I can't drive myself home (and like you said, I could probably drive after the retrieval too. Our second transfer, I even let him off the hook for that. I think he had a busy day at work or had to meet his mistress or something. In the end, you never know the results when you're there for u/s and bw so I don't know why I would want or need him there for those things anyway.

Happy triggering tonight!

Pundelina said...

Hahaha @ "asscows" - I love that! I don't love them however. Always a fond favourite of mine are the talking-loudly-on-my-mobile-phone biatches. I mean really.

I took TBG with me to the ultrasounds for the last cycle cause every other time I've left ultrasound appointments alone and sobbing and shaking with disappointment at the low follie numbers. This last time I wanted him there to hug me and to drive me home so I didn't have to drive through tears.

I hope you bumped bits after you triggered!


jenicini said...

hehehehee. love. it. I would have to drop kick the perky pointing out babies chick. I'm glad you met someone lovely though.

The first year hubby wasn't even in the same country so I did every visit by myself. Since the office was 2.5 hours of lovely driving each way, I appreciated when he got back that he would drive me down so I could snore and drool in the other seat.

That's love baby. :)

hope4joy said...

Yeah the pointing out babies chic would have to get it. I asked hubby to go with me to almost all the appointments the 1st time around. I think I read somewhere that by inviting the man it made him feel more comfortable and " a part" of things. The second time around I didn't really care and went alone. This time since we are doing a FET I don't even need his sample so there is no need to involve him in the appointments. Hope the trigger went well.

kdactyl said...

Oh my....I remember the swollen ovaries days.....our very first IUI we totally over stimulated and and had 14 mature follicles...thanks to DH's crappy sperm count/morphology and the like we actually went ahead with it....I thought the pressure was bad....only until I actually had to ovulate 14 eggs! OH MY FREAKING GOD>>> it was more painful than anything I had ever encountered (long story pregnant...with idendtical twins but then lost them at 10 weeks...very sad) more IUI's and 2 IVF's later we finally got our baby. So...I read all you write with fond (if you can call it that) memeories. As for the office visits....DH went for consult and our first follicle scan (more out of curiosity than anything else) and then after that was only present when needed (ie...collection or to drive me home). He was there for the transfer though...we figured it was a good idea that we at least be in the same room at the time our potential babies entered my body! ha ha. was just really cool to see them place those embies on the u/s ....Yay!

Okay..for you I have great hope for this cycle. I love all your updates and you make me LOL like crazy. We are going for baby number two in March....but age and DH's crappy spermies aren't good enough...we got lucky and adopted 5 embryos from someone who has completed their family...we feel so blessed and hope that this works. I'll be following your journey and hopefully you will be deep in the throughs of morning sickness just as I begin mine!