Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Relax?

Graduation day! My RE, who is (like me) a Michigan alum, came into the exam room humming the fight song today. And there were hugs, which is weird when you don't have any pants on. And she reminded me that I will have to wait months between ultrasounds from here on in. Shite. I am counting on a 12-week NT scan, and then a 20-week anatomy scan, and then I suppose dopplers will have to suffice. I may keel over and die from withdrawal. Trust.

I also got clarification on our due date today. We actually get to use the date of conception rather than the LMP, or tides, or lunar calendar, or whatever medieval methods OBs like to count on. So I am a couple of days ahead of where I thought I was. How about that? Now the beanie baby's measurements (8w4d today!) don't seem so far ahead. Although, and I admit I'm biased, I do think Baby B is a genius and is going to be a superstar. Obviously. We got a nice tour of the visible anatomy on the scan this morning, and could actually pick out a few structures. S/he has a spinal cord! A brain! A beating heart! A giant head! S/he is in the shrimpy stage now -- or as I dubbed him/her this morning, Big Head Todd.

I am slowly beginning to understand that I am having a baby. I'm fully aware that I'm pregnant -- my malaise is dialed up to 11 and my nausea is ridiculous, even with Zofran on board* -- but I don't think I believe that we are really having a baby yet. I am not excessively worried about the "what ifs," but I think I am holding a lot in reserve until we get a little further into the pregnancy. I'm deeply envious of women who can relax and feel pregnant and start buying furniture and onesies and rubbing their belly in public and generally enjoying their knocked up status, but I think IF just flat out ruined that for me. Out of necessity, I can live with that, because bringing home a baby in October is all I really want. The rest is fluff.

* Thanks to everyone who had suggestions or info about nausea and constipation. I am pleased to report that, while the nausea is still sucking my soul out one precarious belch at a time, the pooper situation is resolved. Prune juice, baby. Actually, I have to cut it with apple juice since neat prune juice is a little too, uh, earthy tasting for me. We named my cocktail the Mudslide. Or the Poop-shooter. Or the Ca-ca-cocktail. You're welcome.

10 comments:

jenicini said...

Cracking up. You graduated! That's a big step! I'm glad to hear that it's becoming more real for you. I don't think I ever really got that until now when I have people congratulating me and I'm a little befuddled by all of it. When is your official due date now?

pregnant in Manhattan said...

congrats for graduating from the RE!! Trust me I felt the same rude shock when told I'd just have 3 more scans moving forth.

And everything you've written this week is exactly how I was feeling a few weeks back. It does gradually start to feel like you're having a baby, and after my NT scan yesterday I definitely finally feel like I believe it. The anxiety is normal too. I spent most of my first 2 months highly anxious. And as much as I liked my RE, my first appt with the OB was what finally made me feel like I wasn't "high risk" anymore.

All I can say is: it does get better. :)

bunny said...

OOo, I'll have to program your Mudslide recipe into my Fertility Bartender. Without giving you any credit or percentage of the profits, of course. I am encouraged by the people who say the Dread that comes with IF does wane--I hope your public belly rubbing time is not too far off.

Once Upon A Time said...

Happy Graduation Day! Your little shrimp looks beautiful.

kdactyl said...

I am so excited for you. I remember graduation day. It is bittersweet. I loved my RE so much I just wanted him to be my OB too. ANd..that really great U/S at every visit was just too much to pass up. But alas...off I went to my own OB at 8 weeks and guess what? He had an u/s machine too...just act paranoid and they will let you peak whenever you want...ha ha.

I understand the anxiety...but just enjoy it...you have a healthy bean in there and the nausea should be gone in a few weeks.

kd

'Murgdan' said...

What a beeeyoooootiful ultrasound. :-) So so happy for you.

ASP said...

Beautiful! I love your pictures! I'm sure it'll be weird going to regular OB but that just means you're moving right along. Thank you, Captain Obvious, right? ;) Keep on keepin' on, Little Shrimp!

Thank you for the giggle this morning about the pancake. I've been using that analogy all day. It really does makes sense and why doesn't the first pancake ever turn out? I always thought it was just me.

Clare said...

Great scan - so interesting. I'm just 2 weeks behind you so going to be stalking you like crazy to see what lies ahead for me! Congrats on your graduation! Oh and on resolving the uncooperative bowel situation...

bunny said...

P.S. I hope the Gigantic serenade was in reference to Baby B.

Lisa said...

I found that once I graduated to the OB, I was actually a little more relaxed. It was the fear of what I may or may not see on the u/s at each appointment that really got me anxious. When I had to go three weeks without appts after week 9, I was pretty calm. But then once my 12 week appointment rolled around, I became reconvinced that it was all over and the u/s would prove it. So you never know how you might react. And I agree with the some of the others... act freaked out enough and they'll let you sneak a peak. :)