Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Rage Against the Machine

While we're on the topic of fb*...remember my fb "friend" who has recounted every last detail of her IVF cycle for her 300+ friends/colleagues/coworkers/acquaintances/family members? I am prepared to drive to Bumfuck, Egypt where she resides (okay, central Iowa) and smack her upside her infertarded head. She is a faux infertile, people. I just have a feeling. From what I can gather, she tried to get pregnant with her second husband for a while, was told IVF would speed it up, and just bought that hook, line, and sinker. No diagnosis to speak of. Has three kids. I don't get it.**

Here's what I really don't get -- her post-transfer fb status update. Drink it in, ladies: ____ is preggers and laying in bed -- BRING ON the morning sickness! :)

The emoticon is hers. Mine wields a dagger and a stinkeye smirk.

So, I guess we can assume she believes that placing 1 or 2 embryos in one's uterus makes one instantaneously pregnant. Dude, I've been pregnant (excuse me, preggers) three times -- two singletons and triplets! I should plaster that shit all over fb for the whole fucking world to see! And you know how generally knowledgeable the population at large is regarding how IVF works, right (and think more specifically about the population in Bumfuck, Egypt)? So she is getting congratulatory posts out the ying-yang for announcing a pregnancy, when she merely had an embryo or two pipetted into her hooha. Not a slip-up of semantics; she posted all day, every hour on the hour, before her transfer that she was "on her way to get pregnant!!!!!" Bollocks. Fuckshit. Damn. Twatwaffle. (Okay, I'm better now.) She's on bedrest for 2 weeks (who still does that? Medieval barbers?) so I'm sure there will be endless updates on her pregnancy symptoms. Because there's at least one fully-formed baby inside her ute, so obviously. Oh lucky me, and the other 299+ fb members who may get to enjoy that onslaught.

I don't care about disclosure, because here we are on our blogs, but public disclosure to virtual strangers, coworkers, distant relatives, and such...and the level of abject ignorance associated with it all...and the cavalier stupidity...it's time to "hide" her. Done.

* Yep, three blog posts in one day, people. My mind is a series of cogs today, just turning and turning...

** Yep, I'm judging like Judy, y'all. I mean, she actually bragged in a post last week that she spent $27k on this IVF cycle to fish for compliments on her financial status, which her sheeple fb friends obliged (on a related note, does she know that she is being robbed blind? Are her follistim cartridges gilded with gold leaf?). And she made a pity post about her first failed IVF cycle, claiming it ended in miscarriage when in fact, it simply didn't work. Fuckityfuckitall, I hate ignoranuses***. (Really okay, now.)

*** Yep, I'm letting my bitch flag fly high.


jenicini said...

Please write her a personal message and tell her that she needs to get her freaking facts straight! Boo. FB-foul.

Pundelina said...

I have one hyphenated word for you Jen.



bunny said...

1. Facebook bingo made me die laughing. Then I asked baby Jesus to bring me back so I could laugh some more.

2. Holy shit. I suppose not very clever people go through IVF too, and have no idea what's happening to them. Who knows--just as many of us like to know every last detail, there must be a whole contingent of people who don't ever want to know anything. The problem, of course, arises when they are allowed to communicate with others. So yeah, time to get rid of her. You're in a delicate condition and don't need the stress.

JB said...

Feeling less whoremoanal with the light of a new day upon me, and after the thoughtful analysis of my less indignant husband (who finds this woman amusing) and bunny...

I still think this chick's a douchenozzle of epic proportions, but agree that she probably can't help being so dumb. I mean, she's well-employed and earns a sizable living (which she posts about A LOT. IN DETAIL.). She's going to law school for baby christ's sake (although, it's nite skool and may be one of those print your diploma off the web institutions). But she clearly lacks any understanding of the inner workings of her womb regions or any contents therein, and happens to be a huge, boasty loudmouth at the same time. To anyone who will listen. Anywhere. At all. My husband's comment last night was, "Her brain's not too crowded, is it?" (Funny side note: she posted about getting a new tattoo -- WHILE STIMMING ON THIS CYCLE; WHO WOULD DO THAT AS IT'S VERBOTEN, JUST ASK GOOGLE [ahem] -- and refused to post a picture of the tattoo on fb when asked by a friend, because "I don't share that kind of personal stuff on fb." Dude.

I just can't stand willful ignorance (google some facts, lady!) or that kind of deep-sea fishing for attention and compliments and adoration; it's not remotely the same as seeking support. Combine those things and KABOOM! Plus, it's offensive when I know from the IF blogosphere and my own experience how painful and rife with struggle going through this is/can be, so when someone practically makes light of it, I seethe. That would have been a good post title, too: Seether. (The song rom Veruca Salt, not the shitty emo band.)

JB said...

New info: my husband googled "IVF" and "christianity" (of course this woman sprinkles her fb posts with "praise the lord" (PTL for those in the club) constantly -- "finished my sales report, PTL." "I love Dairy Queen blizzards, PTL." You get the gist. Anyhoo, while she may still be a dummy, she probably buys into that whole life-begins-at-the-moment-sperm-meets-egg business, which means that simply having the embryo squirted into her ute makes her "pregnant." Still stupid and factually incorrect in my book, but I'm mean and judgey.

kdactyl said...

First of...that lady is a wackadoo! Period! I'm okay with the PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) proclamation after ET...but she has gone off the deep end completely. Bed rest for 2 weeks? There is no evidence that bedrest for a single day increases pregnancy rates....Oiy!

Secondly...you crack me up so much. I love it when you get pissed off and rant...so...feel free to rage.

Hope you are feeling well and baby is doing great!