I heart bacon as much as the next girl, but the limits of my imagination have officially been exceeded.
From the makers of this fine porcine product:
(I'm showing you the "lite" version for full ironic effect -- and note that it's the ultimate bacon flavored spread: accept no substitutions!) you can now purchase bacon-balm:
Because you shouldn't spend even a moment without the taste of bacon on your lips. And if that doesn't make you squeal like a piggy, prepare yourself for the coup de grace of product development:
Note that it's intended for babies from birth to 12 months. And it has four nutritious servings of bacon in every scoop! (Revolutionize that, Jamie Oliver.) Bear all of this in mind, new moms. Don't deprive your newborn for a single feeding of the delicious taste of bacon.