...Because we're gonna party like it's my birfday! (Way to rock the early 2000's Fiddy Cent reference, right? Don't hate because I'm so cool. Next on the playlist: Color Me Badd's [with 2 d's!] I Wanna Sexx [with 2 x's!] You Up [with 1 p]. Yeah, cool like that.)
I am 32. I am not old nor am I young. And I am waiting for my husband to get home and unload some presents on me! I am also taking a rare jaunt out of the house, bathed and dressed like a human, for this special occasion. We're going out to dinner! Probably at a greasy spoon or my favorite cafe, but whatever, it's sunny outside and I smell good and it's my damn birthday.
And as for presents...thanks to the timing and proximity of my birthday, it has begun. One birthday present I received in the mail today is a gift card to Babies R Us. Because all I've ever wanted for my own birthday is $100-worth of BPA-free rubber nipples. Dude, don't get me wrong, I'll use the $100 (maybe spread it around a bit more than just the rubber nipples), but maybe send those kinds of gifts on the baby's birthday? I was born 32 years ago, and I'm all set with regard to my teething and potty needs. I guess this marks the assent of the Only-Babies-Get-Presents-Now-So-Lower-Your-Expectations-For Yourself phase of my life.
Then there's Mother's Day. My kind, sensitive, thoughtful husband asked me this week, "So, am I supposed to do something for you on Mother's Day, since you've haven't had the kid yet?" Oh, KB, when you ask like that, I fall in love with you all over again. [swoon] I actually kind of agree that motherhood officially begins when you shove a baby out of your vag*, but I was also kind of hoping for a little sumpin-sumpin in the way of recognition, if for no other reason that the new novelty of it. So I left hints about not having any fresh flowers in the house all week long, and hopefully something botanical and lovely will show up this weekend. I also got a Mother's Day card, my first!, in the mail from a good friend. See, she knows about these things. Maybe I'll make a big deal about it at dinner tonight. Hints will be dropping like my mad rhymes, yo.
*Or somebody's vag, or a surgical crevice in somebody's ute.