Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Acrobat

In the span of two weeks, I went from wondering, "is that maybe a cute little kick?" to being sure that a team of Romanian gymnasts is vaulting in mah belleh. Dude. The kick-punches are actually kind of rare, but the rolling, turning, twirling, and somersaulting is growing common. Especially at night. Happy happy joy joy.

Now, you say, don't be a Debbie Downer. I should be excited to feel the kid sucker-punching me from the inside. Well, I'm here to dispel the myth that it is always pleasant-feeling. The turning and twisting is particularly uncomfortable, and sweet baby jesus forbid my bladder or other vital organ should get in the way. Also, did this kid, like, triple in size in two weeks or something? Was I bitten by a radioactive spider? I seriously was not even sure last week if those twee little twinges were baby kicks or a fart-in-transit, but there is absolutely no mistaking it now. And the fact that the kid is a night owl is less than awesome. I'm pretty sure last night, s/he tapped (*punched*) out the Morse code message: "Sleep is for suckas."

[sigh] Even the milestones of pregnancy kind of suck for me. The "mind over matter" approach was helping, but sleep deprivation while working full-time while aching and paining daily while feeling nauseous while getting dizzy and while feeling like most people just think you're a pussy is leaving me a little want for comfort. Like a big bowl of ice cream. Except that bolus sugar rushes make me sick. [double sigh] I am going to start being waaaaaaay more insistent with my OB at regular visits that this is NOT normal to feel this shitty every single day, and that there MUST be something we can do to mitigate it. No more "suck-it-up-sweetheart" smirks and nods. Bolus IV fluids? I'll take it. Ambien? It's class B. Something stronger than "bite this knife" for pain relief? Bring it.

I am also thinking very seriously about proposing to my OB that we schedule an induction on or slightly before my due date. My hopes for a "natural" childbirth, since this could be my only experience, are being slashed and burned by the reality that the pregnancy itself is proving to be pretty depleting. If this is knocking me down a rung or seven, what the hell will contractions and labor and delivery do to me? As soon as this kid measures big enough and is in the right position to get birthed, I want to get it on, bang a gong. Sign me up for scheduled induction and an epidural and get this kid out of me. I don't want to be pregnant one day longer than is necessary. That's where I am right now, people. At barely six months. I remind myself every single day, that each passing day brings us a little closer to the finale, and that this will not last forever. But it's not yet more concrete than abstract. If patience is a virtue, I am a bad, bad girl.

6 comments:

jenicini said...

It's probably not the polite reaction, but I am cracking up over here! Being pregnant has not been some blissful journey that people reminisce about. Complete shit pile! I have also totally given up on any thought of a natural birth--give me an epidural and put me out of my misery! I have put up with enough crap! Anyway, I laugh because I feel you. :)

ASP said...

You're hilarious. When I read posts like this, I think, "Maybe the grass isn't always greener on the other side!" ;) I was just talking to R about being pregnant (or not so much in our case) and I've always said that it's not the pregnancy and birth that people look forward to, but becoming parents is the most important part of it all. It'll all be over with before you know it (I can't believe that you're already in your 6th month!) and you'll be holding that little acrobatic night owl in your arms at 9pm, 11pm, 2am, 4am, and 6am soon enough! ;)

Oh, and I've witnessed both my nephews births--one without an epidural and one with, and let's just say if I ever get pregnant, the epidural wins. Hands down.

hope4joy said...

Damn time is flying by, well from my point of view. You will be holding that little acrobat in no time! Like Amber, I also saw a birth both with and without epidural. Let's just say that one of them was not pretty.

bunny said...

You are just the LUCKIEST GIRL! I vacillate between being bummed that I don't get a choice about my notional delivery (because my surgery means I'll need a c-section) and being thrilled that I don't make such a choice! It sure would be AWESOME if your OB could actually HELP you! But I'm afraid to dare to dream...

kdactyl said...

You sound so much like me when I was prego with my son. I wanted it so bad (2 years, 2 miscarriages, 3 IUIs, 2IVF's and $35k to get there qualified me for the "wanting it so bad" category)....however...the wanting and the having are two totally different things. I was not as sick as you have been....only for the 1st tri...but oh my was it uncomfortable to be prego....I constantly felt like my ribs were going to break, my bladder was going to explode and my tail bone was going to snap off! I was MISERABLE!!!! I just wanted the baby. I actually demanded a scheduled c-section at 38 weeks. Luckily, my Dr. agreed because I was in my 40's and apparently older mom's have most of their problems later in pregnancy....BUT...then the mean little baby inside of me made it all a sure thing by being breech so we had no choice. I swore I would NEVER be pregnant again and we tried everything to avoid it (adoption etc)...but alas...we are pregnant again (no..not a miracle...more IVF). and I have been SICKER with this than the first and am already scheduling my c-section and fantasizing about Nov 17th just to get my body back...and I'm not even big and wobbly yet. Lord help us both!

But...do take just a moment to memorize what it feels like to feel your baby move...because no matter how irritating it is now....you will miss that after he/she is born.

kd

kmina said...

The kicks will change in time. Yep, as in they will get stronger.
My karate kid likes to stretch and you can see my belly distending sideways (he is transversal now).
My doc told me that they get bored when the mum is not moving, and try to get her back to entertaining them. (This is why some isolettes have hammocks, so the children have sth similar to the uterine environment). So at night they are most active...

Oh, and wait until the belly gets bigger and heavier to heave around. You'll just luuuuurve that. Your fun times will only get funnier. But enough encouragement for now. Take care. ;-)