Friday, June 18, 2010

Prenatal Yoga is Not for the Weak or the Proud

Prenatal yoga may as well be prenatal rugby. Shit is hard. I had my first class last night and was stunned at how difficult it is to perform any yoga poses with this growing belleh in the way. I mean, dude. Here are a few of my favorites, re-interpreted.

Oink-Moo: Because nothing looks more like a tasty side of beef or bacon-ready piggy than a dangling belleh swaying in the breeze. Comfortable, though.

Lump-Squat: Ironically, also called the child's pose. There is no way in hell to get all the way down to the ground with a belleh in the way. Fail.

Help-Me-Jesus: Also known as the pigeon pose, this one is just effing ridiculous. Tuck my leg under my belleh and then take my hands off the ground? Also called the "I'm coming, Elizabeth!"

         Testing Newton: Obviously.
         Gravity won.


bunny said...

Hilarious! Help me Jesus! I think I'm the last person on earth who doesn't do yoga, and it's because of the Testing Newton pose in particular. HATES IT! In any case, I hope it does nice things for you if not for your self-esteem.

Mrs. Hammer said...

Being a non-pregnant yoga lover it's hilarious to envision those poses which I know so well with a watermelon in your pants. HA!

P.S. thanks for the who-ha smoke blowing comment. I'll try to focus on that this time around :)