Wednesday, July 7, 2010

New York State of Mind

Well, I managed not to die in the Eastern heat wave. Oh, wait, it's exactly as hot here in Michigan. Right.

I put myself to the test with the city walking, and had to explain to KB several times (until he snapped at me that he knew already) that an avenue block equals four city blocks, so telling me something is a "few" blocks away may be an inadvertent but consequential lie. Like when we shuffled up and down Park at 44th for 30 minutes looking for a pizza place that was closed by the time we found it. Anyway, I thought this was the city that never sleeps? Apparently it does, sometimes by 9PM.

We got our dose of culture in with tickets to see Fela!, which was all kinds of awesome. I loves me some foreign radical cultural revolution, and with songs! and dancing! And the theater was ass-numbing cold, a quite welcome retreat. We spent an afternoon at MoMA and then the better part of another day at the Met, meeting up with a friend and his four kids. That's right, four children. I took the girl child and claimed her as my own and let KB and his friend manage the three boys. They were asked by a museum docent if they were the boys' dads. As in, My Two Dads. Hehe. If I had been there, I totally would have chimed in that I am the surrogate carrying their fifth. Cause you know how Their Agenda works, building a small army and all.

My favorite piece of modern art, this trip:

I found out after a mishap at a museum gift shop, and a few phone calls, that my banking card was frozen because of fraud. Sweet. My card was either skimmed and/or counterfeited and the bank froze it when charges were attempted in Panama. Yep. I have violated the spacetime continuum and managed to physically use a card in both NYC and Central America at the same time. As much as I would like to be all "All Aboard!" with the banks-too-big-to-fail-all-suck-a-palooza, I keep my money in the biggest bank in (of) America and their rapid response to the fraud, before I even knew it happened, prevented some Panamanian asshole from stealing thousands of dollars from me. So they're not all bad.

And then there were the Things I Shouldn't Be Eating So Much Of: pizza, doughnuts, bagels, gelato. I don't think I'm any worse for the wear, and it was vacation, dammit. I overdid it with the sugar a bit (goddammit, those doughnuts were good) and spent an afternoon able to empathize with Cornholio, feeling threatened and searching endlessly for teepee for my bunghole. Totally worth it.

We spent the Fourth on a Hudson river taxi tour to be front-row for the fireworks. We were on that boat for four hours. Holymotherfuckinggawd. They provided "snackbox dinners" which consisted of, I don't know, a SlimJim and an Oreo, but we used our noodles and brought our own food and water with us. I had scary moments of near-seasickness, but it subsided and it turned out to be a lovely, if warm, night. Evidence:
And now, back at work. Boo, hiss. Oh, and I'm in my third trimester. What the fuck? Three months to go. Three long, but closing in, months. Oh, and a random lady in the ladies' room line with me in a NYC midtown restaurant told me I look 9 months pregnant, I will have the baby any day now, and I am having a girl. She asked me over and over where I will deliver, and I told her over and over that I live in Michigan, and yet she still wanted to know which hospital. Maybe she is the Rain Man of hospital directories and can recite them all alphabetically, or by US News & World Report rankings, or by average resident USMLE scores. She must be an obstetrical savant. But what does she know, really? My dry cleaner tells me I'm having a boy. So many armchair OBs, so little time.


Trinity said...

Heeyyooooooo! Third trimester! Your NYC trip sounds lovely, the perfect balance of culture and nomming your face kind of trip. :) Welcome back!

bunny said...

Sounds pretty fabulous. Maybe minus the bunghole aspect. And the hilarious slimjim /oreo dinner. (Stupid box lunchy things. They are always so appalling!) Also, holy shit, third trimester. I think this means an actual BABY might result, and kinda SOON. Mind blowing.

Kelly said...

There are so many things I love about this post, I couldn't possibly name them all.

hope4joy said...

Glad you had an awesome time and didn't melt in the blazing heat. Three more months.... damn.

Lisa said...

Sounds like a great trip! Congrats on the third tri!