Thursday, August 5, 2010


As Time Goes By: Nearly thirty-two weeks. And hoping for an early induction, say, around 38 or 39 weeks. So, 6-7 weeks to go if the universe (and my OB) will cooperate. Holla.

It's Raining, It's Pouring: Oh, the shower drama. I could have the next reality show pitch for Bravo brewing up in here. The guest list has expanded to include ~40 people (we are now, apparently, letting folks bring their young kids to my non-kid-proofed house), whereas my house comfortably accommodates around 25 people before it gets a little warm and elbowy. I only offered my house as a location in the first place when I was assured that the guest list included ~20 people. Well. And plans now, apparently, include all the things I loathe and/or cannot have: shellfish, cold cuts, alcohol, and games. Ugh, the games. Can I simply refuse to participate? I will not allow anyone to measure my belly or guess how rotund I am or be forced to diaper a doll in some timed display of asshattitude. I will totally go all humbug on their asses. I am just kind of bummed because I was really explicit about my feelings regarding the games and anything remotely stuffy or fussy or prissy, and that doesn't seem to count for shit. This party is being planned for the over-60 set to suit their taste, and I am going to have to suffer a barf-worthy display of disgusting pastels, sherbet punch, and retarded parlor games. And yes, I am behaving like an absolutely ungrateful twat by complaining about someone throwing me a party, but all I can say is: so? My request for a simple, low-key party has ballooned into a circus in which I am forcibly the main attraction. Boo to that.

Nesting vs. Resting: We are finishing the last of the nursery furniture assembly in a week or two, and then I just have to nail some decorative shit to the walls and wait for the shower swag to show up and wash/assemble as needed. I guess I should go buy some diapers and asswipers, and maybe some creams and gels for the baby's behind and my tatas. But all I want to do is lay around and rest...and nap...and not move a muscle. Mah belleh hurts. It's beeeeg. I need a second wind to kick in pretty soon so I can get these last-minute tasks checked off my mental list.


jenicini said...

You never fail to crack me up. :) I don't blame you at all on the shower front! My sister had simple games like guessing the baby's name and counting candy which required no embarrassing measuring or examining melted candy in diapers. :) Hope you get the rest of the nursery situated and some energy back!

Trinity said...

I CRINGE at the thought of your baby shower getting hijacked like that, Jen! It reminds me a little too much of my wedding, when suddenly lots of decisions were being made for the benefit of other people there--not to celebrate the real reason for being there. Yeesh. So sorry!

I can't believe you're almost 32 weeks! Wooo!

ASP said...

I'm totally expecting shower pictures to be plastered all over your FB. I hope they play the "Guess how many toilet paper squares her belly is" game! That one is the best! Is your MIL running the show for the shower? You know you're going to have a blast, so just suck it up and put a smile on! ;)

Seriously, in my non-havin'-to-carry-a-baby-around-in-my-belly ass, you have had the quickest pregnancy ever. Seriously. This time flew by for me! Ha. Can't wait to see pictures of the little guy or girl!

bunny said...

I hope you can have some kind of separate occasion with your own friends where you get more of the kind of celebration you'd like. But yeah, looks like you're going to have to Endure. Which SUCKS. But don't feel at all bad about quietly resenting the people who are foisting this crap on you. I figure as long as you're polite (which doesn't extend to agreeing to be measured and so forth) you can be as hatey as you want on the inside.

I'll keep an eye out for decorative shit. There are a lot of lazy dog owners along my walk to work, so there should be some nice options for 'ya.