Monday, September 20, 2010

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Life's a bunch of shit, when you look at it...

Eh, I guess it's not so bad. I ache, I pain; I nonchalantly begged for induction today. And we struck a very reasonable deal. The facts:
  • I am dilated to 1 cm and 50% effaced (good news!)
  • Baby B is head-down and at -1 station (more good news!)
  • I hurt in every part of my body except, maybe, my left earlobe and my right bicuspid tooth (less good...)
  • I had contractions Saturday night that were ~30-40 minutes apart, which then subsided by Sunday morning (meh...)
  • This not-so-easy-bake oven is ready to produce its little cupcake NOW (just, you know, true).
The good doctor advised me of the risks of scheduled induction, but also said he is very optimistic I won't need it, given that I am having contractions and my cervix is responding at 38+ weeks. He gave me 50-50 odds of making it to the 39-week appointment versus going into labor. I don't know if I really believe him, but I will choose to, since it makes me feel better. I have also decided to stop working at the end of this week and have a meeting with my boss tomorrow to arrange for hand-off of my in-progress projects. Then, at least if I have to sit around waiting for nature to stop being such an asshole and let labor not only begin (again) but persist, at least I can do it from the couch watching crap television and surrounded by my fortress of pillows, rather than from my computer trying to conduct teleconferences and design clinical trial protocols. 

He also gave me a prescription for Tylenol with codeine for the aches and pains, I suppose in an effort to convince me to hold off on more begging for induction. The old "ply-them-with-opiates" trick; it works every time. I never did dig into my supply of Ambien, but I am willing to try a T3 here and there (with my OB's blessing; I am also allowed to tap into my leftover supply of Darvocet, a souvenir from IVF retrievals) to try and get some comfort, and maybe to help sleep a teensy-weensy bit better. Or, like, at all.

So, I guess the official plan goes like this:
  1. Pray to all gods in all religions including any necessary virginal/animal/miscellaneous sacrifices and incantations, that labor indeed begins and progresses within the week;
  2. In the meantime, take advantage of sweet (however low-dose and infrequent) opioid pain relief until the baby decides s/he is good and ready to be born; and
  3. Failing options 1 and 2, show up to 39-week appointment and renew begging for induction on/around due date.
And that's the plan, Stan.


ASP said...

Ah, suki suki now, looks who's going to be holding her behbeh very soon! I was thinking about you this morning and even checked your blogdiggityblog to see if there were any new haps and thought maybe you might be squeezing (or is it pushing?) that sweet child o' yours into this world! Won't be long now! You could try some of this, if you really wanted her (ha) to get here sooner (because I'm *certain* it works! ;) :

Hope the meds help you get some much needed rest before labor. Lots of love, girl. ♥

jenicini said...

The toaster oven is done! Bing! :) I hope the kiddo comes soon! I know you are going to want to smack me for asking but....can we have a belly pic? :) Now go schedule yourself a preggo massage and tell them to hit all of the points than can get you to go in labor. hee hee! Hang in there you are almost done!!!

'Murgdan' said...

Sounds like things are progressing VERRRRRY well. Sending you all the best for the upcoming laaaaabor day. :-)

Kelly said...

Ugh, I'm so sorry you're this uncomfortable. I can practically feel it in your typing. I really hope everything starts progressing really rapidly for you.

bunny said...

I'm stuck on the part where you are gonna have a real live baby soon. Dude. That's freaky! It super sucks that this pregnancy has been so hard on you. It seems totally unfair. I will certainly be wishing that you get the world's easiest labor as your reward, and also the world's best (well...maybe second best) baby out of this crap deal.

Trinity said...

Holy jeebus, Jen, YOU ARE TOTALLY GOING TO HAVE A BABY! I'm hoping that this unravels soon and quickly because, I mean, it's time the universe did you a solid one in this pregnancy. Hope the meds take a bit of the edge for you... Wow, seriously, I'm just crazy excited for you! Thinking of you and sending lots of good juju your way!