Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Full-Term, Full-Time

At past 37 weeks, I am now full-term. Hallelujah. [choirs of angels sing in harmonious chorus] And so nature has upped the ante with the pregnancy symptoms, lest I forget my condition.

There's the swelling. There's the constant peripheral neuropathy. There's the calf cramping -- had a good one while driving this morning, and tried to use my left foot to brake at a red light (mental note: bad idea, don't attempt again). The boobays are sore and heaving (never in my life have my bosom heaved, until now; not a fan). The belly is starting to itch (please, lawd, no visible stretch marks -- so far, only a few higher up on my hips have erupted, which I should be able to hide even under a swimsuit). And the's all day, every day now. I can't really tell where one contraction ends and another begins, but they are just ramped-up Braxton Hicks, methinks. They are now accompanied by mild cramps and backaches, so I'm hopeful these are the prelude to the Big Show and maybe preparing my cervix for the task at hand.

I'm employing a full court press to promote natural labor induction. I've been back to my acupuncturist this week, and will continue as needed for the duration. At my next acupuncture appointment, I think we may try some form of cupping or moxibustion. Look at me, abandoning science for the magical promise of comfort and natural induction. I've been bouncing on an exercise ball every day to relieve pelvic pain and maybe shake something loose (like a baby?). I'm having a prenatal massage tomorrow. I've let KB know that sexytime is back on the menu if he's interested, but I don't blame him for being hesitant when he can see how much pain I am in just sitting around doing nothing, let alone contorting myself into boudoir positions. Plus, with all the symptoms described above, anyone can see that I'm a dead-sexy muthafucka. I don't know if that particular method of labor induction is going to make the cut.

I'm focusing all my energy on wrapping up at work (I have a bunch of "here's my shit, good luck with it" emails drafted) and keeping the house in good working order so that when this baby is ready (ANY DAY NOW), I can go through my neurotic list of things-to-do quickly and in an orderly fashion. I'm all about the pragmatic.

Nothing to do now but twiddle my thumbs.


BB said...

Wishing you the very best! I am so excited for you! You made it!

kdactyl said...

I love your writing. I giggle everytime...but I can relate....I'm only 30 weeks right now...but I really want this baby out! Oh well....Nov 17th has an eviction notice for her so I know there is light at the end of the tunnel...I hope labor starts for you soon...for me...a nice Scheduled C-section is the cure!

jenicini said...

Angels singing is right! Congrats on making it to this point and still working--yep, you are awesome. :) Contractions all day long? That's got to be a good thing! Of course I didn't know that what I thought were Braxton Hicks were actually real ones. :) I hope this happens so you can get your munchkin out!!!

Lisa's mom said...

Ummmm, wouldn't, technically, KB be the MFer, or in your vernacular, the MFah? (I know it's kind of creepy hearing old people talk this way, but you people didn't invent sex, you know.) Amusing post, as always. Here's to an early birth.
- Lisa's mom

Trinity said...

Baby B: come out, come out, wherever you are!

Congrats on 37+ weeks, Jen. I know it's been one shitty time, but you're nearly there. I'm curious to hear how the moxibustion goes, so you'll have to update us if you do it!

I'm happy to hear an update for you. I was thinking about you earlier this week and wondering about the haps...


Pundelina said...

I am completely sure that you are dead-sexy Jen! Even with all your woes. And what lovely woes to have they are. Really. Soon you'll be covered in baby-goodness and it'll all be a thing of the past.

I'm always thinking of you and am wishing you a good labour/birth experience.

((hugs)) and love

OMG my word verification is winesse - I am Mistress Wine-esse at our house, so appropriate!