Friday, April 8, 2011

Hulk SMASH!

So, I still have not received my form letter response that I was asked, ne told, to be patient for.

But while I wait, here is something to share that you will no doubt love. It's taken from an email response to another blogger, received from PETA (complete text is in the comments of this post):

Many who choose to have a vasectomy consider it a moral conundrum for some of us to be spending thousands of dollars trying to reproduce ourselves when there are homeless children, including some with disabilities, who want for homes, and when the environment is being ravaged as human population increases.

First: Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

Second: Fuck.

So now we're immoral?

Hold up. Lemme get this straight. People who are able to conceive on their own, who are fertile, have the right to choose to have child(ren) and/or use birth control and/or become sterilized. If they choose the latter, they are helping to suppress the global human population (and bully for them!). But people who are infertile and seek treatment to conceive with medical intervention, who are far more likely to have fewer children than fertile people if they ever conceive at all, are the problem. And not only are infertile people therefore responsible for adopting all the orphans of the world, but the homeless ones with disabilities in particular. Shit, I didn't get that memo; I'll hop in my car right now and drive on over to the nearest orphanage/homeless shelter to pick up my own little Oliver Twist. Because it's my goddamned duty and/or lot in life. And also, because adopting is just like picking out a cat from the Humane Society. (Although, by their reasoning, if you happen to be allergic to cats, then it is your responsibility, ne your fate, to adopt the mangiest, patchiest, most broken-down old three-legged diabetic feline you can find -- there are homeless mangy cats in this world and it is immoral for you to take home a healthy, well-fed cat, you selfish brute!) I said it once before and it bears repeating: fuck.

And get it right, twatwaffles. I spent tens of thousands of dollars to reproduce myself.

I have a solution to the moral conundrum of homeless children, including some with disabilities, who want for homes, and when the environment is being ravaged as human population increases. They can be adopted by PETA employees, who are all no doubt spayed and neutered. You're welcome!

Also, you'll be delighted to know that PETA has bowed deeply to our demands and has changed the verbiage of their contest to read "during" National Infertility Awareness Week, rather than "in honor of." Whew. Mission accomplished, hang a banner on a battleship. Except...um...they're still insisting on referencing infertility in the context human population control, vis-à-vis voluntary sterilization. Motherfuckers. When you look at the screenshot, you can see that there is no explanation tying the two together; but by simply juxtaposing them, they make their implicit point. Which is that infertility is beneficial to population control. Eugenics, people. Why don't they just get back to throwing paint on fur coats and objectifying women in nude ad campaigns? I think Pam Anderson probably needs the work.

I know as well as any of you that their PR lackeys are classless asshats who do this sort of thing specifically because it gets a rise out of people, but that they chose to pick on a patient community that is already treated like lepers by the ignoranuses of society and is just beginning in recent years to make strides in awareness and educational campaigns....well, that just chaps my hide.

3 comments:

Esperanza said...

Can I just say how much I love the word "twatwaffles"? Because I do.

I also love everything else you wrote here. And I do NOT love PETA.

kmina said...

Oh, my, I leave for two weeks and I miss the equivalent of two months, really...

I expected more of PETA. But on the other hand, I know never to expect too much out of any organization, yet, somehow, I still do.

I loved the movies with Jackson and I have to share that the monkey from the tropical forest is still very much liked. Pardon, the proper name is the 'wet tail monkey'.

I hope Jackson gets over his troubles with trips and you get to enjoy all your planned trips soon. One thing I learned since having George is try, try and then try again some more. ;-)

Lauren said...

Word.