Let's do bullets.
- Still incredibly nauseous. Mostly at night, right before bedtime. This is fantastic. I wish I could throw up and get relief, but it doesn't even work that way. Riding this out for a few more weeks until it (hopefully) gets better. Pregnancy is beautiful. Uh-huh.
- We're hitting a rough patch with Jackson. About 50% of the time (or maybe more?) he throws total meltdown tantrums during meals and is sometimes refusing to go to bed. Not that we give into it, but he puts up a good fight. He's getting big and Hulk-strong so it's harder to man-handle him into submission these days. Especially when you're not into getting kicked in the gut by a wriggling angry mess of a toddler. He's growing more independent (won't let us help him eat meals anymore, has to feed himself everything and wipe his own mouth, etc.) so I feel like this is just an internal struggle for him to sort out that not everything can be at his command. He doesn't have the insight yet that he can't actually make every decision. Riding this one out, too.
- I am out to the world, more or less. It's starting to look obvious so I may as well let it all hang out. I haven't gotten daily calls from the usual suspects, but every time I do see them or talk to them I get the full inquisition re: symptoms. Because I love nothing more than to describe my nausea to others repeatedly knowing that they have no clue what I'm talking about (according to my mother-in-law, her pregnancies and births and child-rearing skills were all picture-perfect *cough*bullshit*cough*).
- Out with work clients, too. I was getting repeated requests to do work planned for the late fall and had to finally tell them why I can't do it. After the congratulations were doled out, the scramble to get me on board with as many projects as they can before November began. Now comes the part where I have to make a cocoon and protect my time ferociously. I have this dilemma that shouldn't be a dilemma: I figure, if I'm going to work then I should have/meet certain reasonable professional goals, including hitting quarterly and annual financial targets. What I currently have on my plate for the remainder of the year would accomplish this just fine. But I also don't like disappointing good clients when they want to work with me, and I don't want to end up with too much time on my hands toward the end of pregnancy (distraction was good last time around, took my mind off of how goddamned uncomfortable I was). So I have to find and keep the balance. It will mean saying "no" a lot. I am not great at doing that (except to toddlers, in which case it falls on deaf ears anyway). I guess this is one of those opportunities for growth that asshole optimists like to proselytize about. We'll see.
- I saw the mom from school that I had bumped into at my RE clinic recently, and she looks pregnant as well. We have a school fundraiser to attend this weekend, and I'm hoping she'll be there and I can saunter on over and talk to her. I'm not really the social butterfly of any party, but I can't help myself with this one. We have the same fertility doctor, for crying out loud. Our older kids are about the same age. Our second kids will be about the same age. It is Meant To Be. Or maybe we'll never speak and it will be unrequited infertile love.
- A dear friend is having her baby shower next month (she finally got pregnant after months of donor IUIs) but her sister planned it on Father's Day. The sister is sweet, but may actually be retarded. Who would do this? Also, it's several states away, in Iowa City. I haven't been back there more than once or twice since college (go Hawkeyes!). It will be my first overnight away from Jackson. And I'm leaving The Tantrum King alone with KB on Father's Day. What a treat. KB wants me to go, and is the one who convinced me I should, but I have to come up with some sort of kickass make-up day for his Father's Day. It probably will have to involve putting out to make up for this. *sigh*
- Had a 12-week scan as part of the sequential screening and baby looks fine. Has wee little legs (like me) and a face and hands and whatnot. Was dancing a little. I'm not sure if I want to know the gender or not when we schedule the 19-week scan. It was nice to be surprised with Jackson. But it might be nice to know, too. I don't even know why I think that. But I don't really want to share it with others if we do find out, mostly because I don't want to be inundated with gender-specific shit we don't need. We have a plethora of Jackson's footie onesie pajamas for the winter, which will be the infant uniform of choice as it was with Jackson. And if we find out it's a girl, I don't want to get piles of impractical itchy lacy pink frilly tutus and headbands (I know what would be awesome -- a rubber band tied around a baby's head with a giant plastic flower dangling in her eye! she'll love it!). And I know we would (in-laws are a sure thing). I mean, we'd still get this stuff after the birth, but then I'd at least be in the throes of baby love and could ignore it better.
- Is anyone watching Game of Thrones? I just want to say that motherhood is a bitch in that world. Nothing good comes from it. You can run around bellowing, "I am the mother of dragons!" all you want, it ain't helping matters.
- That's all I got. Nothing new but the same ol'.