Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Sweating Bullets

Orthopedic follow-up appointment number one: done. And another in 2 weeks. Hopefully the last.

It took for-fucking-ever to get to the office, thanks to a traffic accident literally just outside the medical office building that narrowed the road down to one lane (and Detroit drivers are Grade-A assholes, so merging peacefully and in an orderly fashion is for suckas). Then the parking lot was 100% full so I had to circle until someone was leaving, and didn't she just take her sweet time rearranging some shit in the backseat, and in the trunk, and then checking her makeup in the rearview, and then adjusting her seat. I hope she saw me flip her off while I waited. And then we sat in the waiting room full of elderly patients comparing notes on how bad off they were and playing Top-That with their injuries...

...and then finally, we were called back to see the pediatric orthopedist. It was a long, anxious time to wait to find out if your baby boy will regain full use of his teeny arm, and I have the pit stains to prove it. They opted not to do a follow-up x-ray today (but will in 2 weeks), but the knobby lump on his arm is evidence of healing bone and he passed the nerve function exams (fingers wiggled; elbow flexed; when pissed off enough, shoulder lifted). Although he doesn't voluntarily use his left arm much at all (only slight movement when he's repositioning or stretching) the current prognosis is that he probably does not have a specific nerve injury, and will gradually use that arm more over the next several weeks as it heals more. Between 6-12 weeks old he is expected to be good as new.

For reference, on his birthday, his arm looked like this:
It's still kind of a wait-and-see game, since there's no definitive test or treatment for any of this. But I feel encouraged. Now, I ask you, how do I explain this to my Munchausen-esque hypochondriac sister, visiting tomorrow, without letting it get sucked into her vortex of medical drama? And how do I keep steam from blowing out of my ears when she inevitably interrupts me to tell me about her friend so-and-so's kid who has/had/is having a worse diagnosis of something more awful (Top-That!). (We're putting her in a nearby hotel -- oh, she just got back from her third vacation since losing her job, but do you think she offered to pay for the hotel? -- so we don't have to deal with her 10am-wake-up and sit-around-all-day shiftlessness all week long. It's maddening.) And how do I stop feeling annoyed that my mother-in-law assured us she would come over and help and hasn't been here once since we left the hospital, and won't even try to hold Matthew? (I know she may be concerned about jostling his arm, but the sleeve is pinned down so his arm doesn't move. Anyway, after Jackson was born she mostly brought food. That would have been nice.) I can let that slide, since we have a part-time nanny starting next week. And Matthew is a quiet baby so far, so I think I'll be fine. Once I get past the holidays. Because holidays, man. They are the cause/cure for crazy.

But honestly, whatever, I'm thankful Matthew is okay and is expected to make a full recovery. And that's enough for me. Happy Turkey Day, all. Eat, drink, be merry, kiss the babies.

Oh, and today was his due date.



glumbunny said...

Oh man! I saw the photo first and was so bummed because I thought it was the current state of affairs! I'm really glad he's healing. 6 -12 weeks is a long time to wait. I mean, FUCK, Bunlet is only 13 weeks. It's all so heartbreaking. That fat little broken arm makes me tear up. SAVE THE BABIES!

Sooooo...why is your sister allowed to show up? Are you not willing to be super rude and mean and tell her to fuck off? I hope she surprises you by being human for once. I know, not happening, but hey. As for your MIL, I'll drop by to kill her any time you like.

Mina said...

Man, that tiny arm in pieces is heart breaking! Happy to hear t is healing. And weeks zoom by, you'll soon have to flip another douche not leaving the parking soon enough.
Relatives are a pain. Especially ones so nutso. Patience, lady.

Rhianna said...

Just now getting this far back in my reader, so apologies for the super belated comment.

The sight of that broken bone surrounded by the shadow of delicious baby fat just made my stomach lurch. Poor babe. Very relieved to hear that there appears to be no outstanding nerve issue. Whew. And I agree with Bunny--6-12 weeks sure does feel like a long time in baby days! I hope these weeks bring lots of healing and movement to that wee arm.

As for your sister, I do not feel like I am in the best place to offer any neutral insight, as I am currently experiencing daydreams of chucking heavy objects at my own sister's head. At this point, I just want to say that she is undeserving of your time, and especially undeserving of all that new baby goodness. But, again, I am in Bitch Mode, so take that with a grain of salt. I think the hotel stay was a smart move. Hope her visit was/is mostly painless.

How are YOU feeling??