Wednesday, December 5, 2012

What To Say

So many things.
  • Matthew had his second (and next-to-last) orthopedic follow-up yesterday. His bone is healing and though it's "curved" (the fracture was displaced slightly) it will remodel and straighten out over the coming months, without causing him any problems and unnoticed by the casual observer (you can feel the knobby callous on the fracture site and the curve of the bone if you palpate it carefully). His next (and final) follow-up will be at one year, to do one last x-ray and confirm the bone is healed and straightened out. He's already good as new; he moves his left arm as much and with the same range of motion as his right. Babies are a miracle.
  • He's not colicky but he does get pretty fussy in the evenings. The poor thing has been gassy and has an every-other-day pooping schedule that makes him uncomfortable until the shitstorm arrives. And oh, how. He likes being in the Moby wrap, so at least I have that in my arsenal. And he loves nursing. (Wish my nipples didn't mind it so much.) 
  • He's nursing like a champ. We still use the occasional (pretty rare now) bottle of formula, mostly at night when I've already been nursing him for freaking hours on end and he still won't sleep. KB steps in with the bottle and lets me go to back to bed. It's a decent trade-off for all involved. I think the formula has been exacerbating his gassiness, so less of that is better. But my nipples, lordy are they sore from all the nursing. And the occasional gummy chomp when he's a little too enthusiastic about his milk from this mama cow. Ow. But also, good that it's happening (the nursing). But also, ow. I'm holding off on pumping until my nipples are less chomped-upon-feeling and/or we decide to send him to the Montessori school (and I still don't know when I will do that, since we have a part-time nanny now whom I love and can stay with us through the spring and maybe the summer; but Jackson has done so well in school that I want Matthew to have that experience, too, so we'll see).
  • Sleep. Who is getting any? Jackson and the dog. Matthew naps well during the day for hours at a time, waking up to nurse about every 3 hours or so, but in the late evening is wide awake and not at all interested in sleeping. So I nurse and nurse and nurse him and he just stays awake. And then is up every 1-2 hours (we get the occasional 3-hour stretch a few times a week). I hope it turns around soon. It's frustrating.
  • My sister's visit over Thanksgiving was just meh. She's still not trying very hard to find a job and remains insistent that she "deserves" to hold out for her dream job. I wish she could understand that most of us are doing something short of a dream job, because we have other adult responsibilities that require income and benefits as a priority, and/or that most dream jobs turn out to have downsides like any other. They are better as fantasies, usually. And not worth draining every penny of scant savings and cashing out a meager 401K and living off of benefit-free unemployment indefinitely. But alas. She also played a good game of Top That! even when she asked about my labor. I barely got out the words, "Well, it was kind of rough..." before she started in with stories about her friend so-and-so and HER labor and her other friend so-and-so and HER labor. She didn't even hear the story at all (other than me interrupting her to say it culminated in Matthew having a broken arm, so she would know to be careful with him) until some friends stopped by and asked me about it and then listened(!) to the story. As KB said, perhaps this was an example to my sister of how a conversation is shared between two people, that it is not a soliloquy for one. She actually did pay for her hotel stay but complained about it (even though I prepaid, she let them charge her card which was required for incidentals and is now claiming that Marriott requires in-person presentation of a card and will not permit pre-payment, which of course is bullshit; she's constantly and habitually lying about stupid things like this just to argue) -- I am calling to move the charges to my card and will pay for her stay in a couple of weeks. I'm still pissed that she could afford THREE vacations and twice-weekly bar crawls and concerts with friends since losing her job, but apparently can't afford an inexpensive hotel stay for family, but it's not worth the hassle of never hearing the end of it. And I am *thisclose* to telling her how tired I am of her Top That! routine, the constant lying/exaggerating about everything (if we disagree, or present reality as an alternative when she's ridiculously off-base, she argues, pouts, and throws a hissy fit; it's a delight). Her upcoming stay is just a few days and they're filled with plans to see the city light displays, Christmas dinner at my sister-in-law's house, and playing with new toys. So she can either get on board and enjoy or sit around and be a lazy lump, it's no matter to me. She's headed back down a bad road and I will not follow. I've dealt with over 20 years of this up and down cycle and I'm Seacrest, out. I've reached my limit for bullshit tolerance.
  • Left field: I'm contemplating whether I want to keep this blog going or not. I'm not sure there's anything left for me to say about infertility, being pregnant, giving birth, or whatever. There's plenty to say today and every day going forward about parenting a toddler and a newborn, but I don't know if writing about it is useful or worthwhile. So, thinking.


Lisa said...

Noooo! You can't go away! Ok, I mean I kind of get it, but I would so miss your writing, and the perfect ways you put tough stuff into words that make me laugh.

Glad Matthew is as good as new, and good luck with that sister of yours. She sounds like a trip and a half.

Mina said...

Glad to hear good news about the M's arm. I hope the sleep gets better soon. And may I just second the NOOOOOOOO above? You write so well, no matter what about. But parenting? It's gooood. And I like it. I would vote for keep on writing. If that matters.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I third the noooooo! But also share a certain sense of pointlessness about the value of writing about parenting as such. I mean OMG, am I a MOMMY BLOGGER? Retch! Retch! I feel like as soon as all my girls successfully become parents I can quit this shit, but I think I'm deluding myself...I'm probably addicted to the navel-gazing at this point. Hey, that seems to have been ALL ABOUT ME. Ahem. So glad M is bendy but healing. So sad your sister is such a frustrating narcissist. I want you to ditch her, but I know you would if that were the right move at this point. Still, so aggravating even from a distance.

Hang in there with the sleep thing. It's coming. And for what it's worth, Bunlet had the witching hour thing, super angry from around 7 to 9ish, and nursing would sort of keep him mellow, but not really. He seemed to just need to be awake until 9. (He was also much happier after a nice big shit.) Anyway, eventually I just stopped relying on nursing him to shut him up, instead passing him of to my spouse. Who couldn't keep him quiet, but at least it was not my problem. Consider it? And he did get better and better over the weeks. I hope this happens for you guys, and with a QUICKNESS.

hope4joy said...

I am glad the baby is healing and nursing well. the sleep thing sucks big time. This to shall pass. As far as the blogging goes, your comments are exactly why I don't blog and only comment anymore. I would miss your updates though...

Cheri said...

First, I'm so glad to hear that Matthew is healing as well as possible. It still sucks that he (and you) had to go through it in the first place. Such is life, but what a tough start!
Secondly, I, too, would miss your insights into, well, life. And I'm not even in your group, really. Secondhand as a grandma.
BUT, I know that you write professionally in a professional setting, so isn't this good practice until you have time to write that book? (I still think you should. More than ever.) It isn't just that you're a good writer, it's that you're a good writer with voice - in a BIG way.
AND as Lisa said, the way you put tough stuff into words that make people laugh is invaluable. Or is it that you want to get paid for all your free therapy?
But seriously, your insights and willingness to put them into words are a gift. Truly.

Rhianna said...

Happy to hear more positives on Matthew's arm! Boo to the colic/gas/witching hour shenanigans. This reminded me (oh, how I have gladly forgotten some of these details) that Arlo was hooooorible after most feeds, and I could only kinda-sorta hold my shit together during those spells. But, I also remember that it eventually passed and was not so terrible that I couldn't eventually forget about it. Heh. Hope more sleep is on the horizon for the whole B household super soon.

I can't even talk about teats right now. I have issues with nursing right now, and let's just say that they're the kind of issues that make me groan and grimace at the thought of gummy infant chomps. Sigh. Hope the mammaries feel better soon!

Your sister. Holy shit. Are you sure we are not related somehow?

And on the subject of turning the page on your blog... So, I get this. We've discussed this some. I think it could be a very good thing. I thoroughly relate to the need/desire to move on, to tuck a tidy lid on it. But, uh, yeah. You see how well I accomplished that, huh? I really missed having a mostly anonymous space to put some shit down in. We each blog for different reasons, so it really comes down to what you get from this space, you know? I guess the biggest takeaway I have from my own experience is this: closing my space (and then opening a new one) gave me permission to write more freely. The confines of my old blog were purely my own design, I suppose, but switching to a new space was a good reboot for me. I dunno. Do what feels right to you. I would certainly miss your voice and reading about what's new in your world, fo' sho', but it ain't about me. ;) XX